Social networks, hook up and the whole thing



My aunt has requested Internet for her house. She also bought a tablet. I think she feels quite lonely and this is a way of her to grant that I come here. She doesn't needs to do that to have my company. I love my aunt and even when she had television only, I would come here for lunch and to spend a few hours with her. But that is not the point, althou it still "hits" loneliness.
In times, I used to have an account on a website for gay men. I have deleted all the old and unused accounts. Now I back there. I have gotten 13 messages since the last time that I have been there. For some people, that might not be much. For me, that is too much. Older men looking for whatever it is. I opened the profiles, shutted them off and deleted the messages.
Due to a friend of mine (actually, an ex-penpal of mine), I have created an account on a website of the kind. It is the old website where I used to be before Facebook (me and a whole group of people, friends, acquaintances and anonymous people). It has two games, with the simple purpose to meet new people. The rainy afternoon is being boring, so I have decided to spend a bit of time exploring the suggestion of one of the games called "Meet Me". Most men I saw hasn't pleased me a little bit. Others, were quite pleasant to the eyes. "Match" and "No" buttons. Without any exception, I hitted the "No" button in all of them. I just wanted to see who's around. I don't really want to meet anyone. Both websitrs are pretty useless for me: like I have previously said, I am not wanting to meet new people, I just want to delight my eyes. People have no idea of what's going on this side. Most of them, are simply looking for fun, datings, friends. Regular / normal stuffs, without envolving the risk of comlicated stuffs. And I am all about complicating it all.

 I do prefer to stay aside, watching other people living their loves, living their joys of love, while I am immersed in lust. For me, it doesn't works out for more than a fuck or two. If it does, it brings me the serious risk of obsession (I don't fall in love, I get obsessed), of madness, of jealousy and the wicked list goes on. I am not handsome. I do not consider myself like that. I am not the kinda guy that can keep someone's attention hooked up. I don't consider myself interesting, either. I don't play fool silly games of charming, trying to grab attention. I am too foccused on lust: I don't want cuddlings, hours spent in the bed cuddling, kissing or touching. I don't want someone to look at and feel something special for that someone. The only thing I want out off a man is the reaction he provokes inside my pants and in my whole body.

 About feelings... let go of them. They serve no purpose, but poetry and art.

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