Sunday, May 31, 2015

I need to get out of this wicked city - forever

Almost two years have gone by since we've been at that wedding where this music (as well as a few others from ERA) was played. The lunch and the party, in the middle of nowhere... mountains from Portugal, wide blue sky and the perfect song. The perfect songs. Amazing company. Amazing day.
Time is flying and no one is noticing it. Time is flying and I keep noticing the weird things in life, that some would only think that they happened on movies of all kinds, including some pornographic stuffs. It is real, my people, that some crazy nuts stalk other people, that straight men seek comfort in the body of gay men, that mothers don't care about their kids and publish online hiw much do they miss such children. This is real life when someone shoots a firegun in the middle of the street, when we're forced to chose other ways to walk, other paths, that we seek peace through the brutality of the world and that we keep trying to comfort ourselves through others' disgrace.
I can see nothing but the green mountains of my abandoned old village, where my grand parents from mum's side were from (if you can read Portuguese and you've read my entryon the other blog, you'll notice that I am repeating this need of mine of that place). I am needing that wide blue sky or the wide night sky, with millions of stars, many of them already dead; I am needing the loneliness of the countryside; I am needing my time and space... lots of space, that the voices of the city seem to continuosly shrink.
Tonight has been a nice and busy night at the cafe. Some tension has been felt, but nothing like a good laugh and a good hug. Tonight, I have almost had to carry a drunken friend home. And seing him throwing up like the girl from "The Exorcist" movie was kinda odd.
I am leavong it by now. I am leaving it here, because the day has risen and troubles might start up soon. I am still awaken and goddammn tired - physically, mentally and spiritualy tired. But I smile. I keep smiling and no one knows... and no one really cares...

Friday, May 29, 2015

No, nothing

Those have been terrible weeks to write - I try and I keep trying and I am constantly failing.
I have plans. I have so many plans to do a wide variety of stuffs, to change a large number of things and nothing seems to ever change. Nothing seems to ever be done. And I do. I keep doing, but it's still not enough.
No. There's nothing to be said - not even about you, sweetheart. Today was the day that I have made one comment about you to someone - or so I hope. Will you be there tonight?! Will you ever be there, other than just the fair nice costumer at the cafe, other than just a smiling and nice, yet mysterious guy?
No. There isn't anything else to be said.
Nothing at all.