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Showing posts from March, 2010

Artificial/Mechanical Happiness

There's only 15 minutes left here, in the computer, on the internet store. I've been looking for jobs online, I've been contacting some friends, I've been having a little fun, and now, I'm listening to music, while to guys talks out loud on my left side! Life has been a bit dificult, but nothing that my inner world, that my world inside my own mind doesn't helps!!
I can be crazy, but I see wonderful places, I see the future and the past, within my own mind... Right now, I'm not sure on what writing, but I can ear the flying cars out there, I can hear the mechanisms under the city moving, the gears turning, the smoke poping out... And there's nothing better for me, but to get into my own world!! :) Crazy?? Nah, an alternative way to be (artificially) happy!!

Late at night....

I'm just in front of the laptop, while a group of guys talks out loud, while they smoke hash... I smoked my hash part too and I am expecting more to come to me... I am aware of what I am saying... I am aware on which way I'm walking now, once again... I am just unable to do anything to fight the sadness feeling, the feeeling of not knowing myself, of not being able to understand what I am really feeling.

Late at night, I gotta stand loads of hip-hop playing, hip-hop guys who will give me their hash to smoke. Late at night, when everyone seems to be at home sleeping, things are not how do most of lamb of society think things are. People think that everyone wake up soon in the morning to have loads of work to do, but late at night, "ordinary" people are somewhere, smoking some weed or some hash, just because it helps to relax from the exhausting day of work. Just because it helps them dealing with other human beings.

Late at night, I lose myself, just to find myself insi…