Skip to main content


Showing posts from January, 2014

A moment for my own

I'd love to be able to explain what's burning within my soul today. I'd love to go further in the questions of my soul, but I have typed an entryin the other blog. It happens that one poem from my favorite poetess appeared in my mind (soul?) in the shape of a Fado. It happens that this poem speaks about verses writen for a love, that the love must rip them off and to forget about them. It happens that my love has too may poems directed t him, although he doesn't really knows about it. It happens that he appears from times to times and it seems that despite we don't really talk, he answers to my mental "callings". He appears and my core starts bursting. He appears and he reminds me why have I grown up this way and why I've chosen such path. I regret nothing. I may suffer, but the more it hurts, the stronger I am: a wounded tiger is always more dangerous. It happens that the rain falls outside and inside of my soul it's all dark: I have no good fee…

Thinking of you again

It bites! In one of these lonely nights while I was writing a few poems, you came across my mind again - I've promised myself that I've left you go, that I wouldn't be writing to you again, about you ever again! After this long morning and a night with a very short sleep, here I am at my aunt's house, listening to this song - somehow it reminds of you, although we've never been from each other! You're just a dream of mine, someone that I think that has been more present in my life than I could ever judge: before our conversations online with a web camera turned on and naked bodies, I believe that I have seen you in a train headed to the North of the country. One of my older paintings makes me think and believe that it's you. I've seen you two or more times in that train, when I was a regular costumer of the Northern line. I have promised that I wouldn't leave you to disturb or annoy me ever again: your car has passed by me in one of these nights. I…

Fuck it!

Futuristic cities of my dreams

Somehow, this song makes me imagine a futuristic world, with flying cars, spaceships, spacetrips. Perhaps due to the sound itself, and not that much about the lyrics, since the lyrics speak about love and difference.


A bit before the dinner, I was about typing one entry. One entry about this and that... the kind of chitchat you make with people who don't know from nowhere, but that start speaking to you in the train or in the bus stations, in the cafe or in the supermarkets.
Christmas and the whole set of celebrations with the New Year are finally over. These days have been annoying me pretty much. I have been smoking quite a lot, because of the lack of mental peace. My mind never stops working, nit even when I am almost fainting after I have smoked a few joints. When I am too highed to even understand what people are saying to me, even then I am always thinking.
Since I was a very young child that I have always had this "tendence" of over-thinking. I remember of being a 3 or 4 years old child, walking the yard of the kindergarten where I was and thinking. When it was raining and we was inside, I was in my corner drawing, although I have always had the guts of interactong with other…

A disturbed man

When my voice stops speaking,
When my heart stops beating,
When my soul stops feeling
And my hands stop writing, painting and working,
When my body is thrown and abandoned in the coffin,
When the ashes of sorrow and regret are traveling the world,
When this disturbia-paranoia is shut and locked in the personal hell,
When suicide is a prayer,
When it hurts... and hurts no longer
The voice of madness, the song of despair.
One disturbed soul shut and shot,
One glass of disturbed ashes down the throat of the liars.

It goes and flows.
Imperfect words.
Imperfect steps.
You know me, dearest, and I have draw you:
The image of that man in the train,
Your image, naked in front of me
Through the technology of days:
Both of you, a single one,
A single portrait.

Now the silence:
The broken glass rips the fragile skin
And the dark and bitter blood flows free.
In my dreams, you and I are hanging in the tree,
I am your lover, your perfect lover,
I am your kiss of despair,
And you're always the f…

New Year is here

Happy 2014, everyone! I tend not to celebrate Christmas, New Years and all the celebrations. Parties and celebrations have their somewhat of sad for me. I seem a joyful person, but when it comes to certain... erm, "things", like parties, celebrations... I am not that happy. But I got to wish you all a very happy New Year of 2014!
I have spent the last hour of 2013 listening to this amazing woman singing. Amália Rodrigues, the Portuguese fadista (fado singer), an amazing singer, an extraordinary human being and someone I miss to hear about in the tv and in the news. Someone who makes me feel terribly proud of being Portuguese, despite all the bad things that are related to Portugal at this moment!
I don't have much more to say... not now... not tonight...
Happy New Year!