Monday, March 24, 2008

Today when I was arriving from my job, after having a coffee with my mother, when we was in our building, a girl knocked the door and told us that our neighbour from the house over our house, died... It was her grand daughter.

Well, that lady was a friend of mine and about one month ago, she almost set fire at her house, trying to kill herself, so I wonder what happened... Have her killed herself? And those things always affect me more than I would like... Damn!! I know that Death will come for all of us, but it's hard to see people we love departing, without saying a simple goodbye... I am human and not a machine, the more I want to get stronger... Well, I really get stronger, but I stay as sensitive as I have always been...

I walked the streets alone and I found Shizuka(L.) at her store, and through her, I found out that one child of 9 years old died, as well. Then, I went through a café to meet my friend Sofia and Vinicios her boyfriend and Sofia told me that her grand mother died in the hospital... What the fuck of day was this? Was it the Worldwide day of Death and I didn't know about it?! I am numb... I try to find what means all this wave of emptiness in my soul... Amália Rodrigues saves me from suicide, but I am one step closer from suicide and if I decide to go on, no one will ever be able to stop me... I am flying in a mist of emptiness and sadness, though they fullfill each other... And things aren't that easy!! I'll sink my mind on my job and on my art, in order to not make something stupid!!

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Statement: DEAD!!

I could say a lot of things, but you'll never understand them, just because I am unreachable now. I am in a higher level, trying to figure out why do some kind of things happens down there... I am trying to find out someone who to chat with through the internet, but it seems that men are all busy... Today, all I want a man and nothing else matters...