Thursday, August 29, 2013

here I am...

I am at the cafe in the afternoon. The day is very, very hot. The blue sky almost looks like it is turning onto gray. Inside the cafe (the one where I usually go only on Sundays), the open door and the open window makes a very pleasant and comforting breeze. In the last hour, I've been seing my Facebook at my aunt's tablet. I still need to learn how to use it a bit better.

Right now, a few people are talking in the other side of the cafe. A dude who had a girl in a fluorescent pink suit by his side, talks to another dude who used to be my school mate. That ex-school mate of mine still looks at me after all these years. That guy still recognizes my face everywhere he meets me. But we're still strangers. Like now, that he just went to get one pack of cigarettes, he was looking at me. He just sat in his chair and his eyes were set on me. It feels rather strange and uncomfortable. I have to say that, in the other hand, I'm already used to such turns from life.

I'm typing. When I stop typing, I pick my cigarette and I smoke a bit more of it. I still have one or two cigars left, from those who travelled from Greece to here. But I am still prefering my cigarette at this moment. I realise that the Internet connection is going down. It goes down. I shut the wi-fi app and re-open it. The connection works for a bit, until it goes down again. 

Here I am... typing, just because I felt like doing it. I am typing, because I was needing to. I started looking for some options on google. I can freely download images to use them here. I can freely download them to use them anywhere I want to use them.

Time keeps passing by...

I am happy, but still some what of a sadness hits my soul. Soon... I'll find out what that sadness means, soon. Or maybe, I won't at all. I just wanted to do smething beautiful... I just wanted to do something nice... and in the end, I haven't done anything... and I think that one if the many reasons for such sadeness is this: recognizing the huge failure that I am!

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

One month away...

it took me 20 days away, one wedding, lots of forest fires (although they've been seen through the TV or in a safe distance) to realise way too many things.

Human beings are stupid by nature. They burn down everything. They turn everything onto ashes. Human beings are a bit like the wind: they can be pleasant, but they can also change their direction just like that. A friend, in times very important to me, is someone who turned out to be an indifferent person to me nowadays. He's far away and he "changed" me for someone with better and bigger toys. We can see how that friendship has developed.

Seing from far, the smoke is a Huge and very, very tall tower. The witch is in the top of the tower, waving her wand and her huge nails to the world. it burns and keeps burning and the full moon is red. The full moon in the sky turned out to be red. Not that strong red that it were years ago, but it was a red full moon.

I went to a wedding. I had lots of plans for these texts. Each paragraph was a different entry, but it turned out to be this way. No images / pictures that I've taken, but there's enough of this lines to read. A wedding of rich people: I hate weddings and I despise people with their noses turned up to the sky, just because they have money. You can wipe your ass with your bank notes and then eat them as salad, that I won't even mind. I will be myself all along the way and it's not a reproving look over me that'll make me change my behaviour.

it took me one month away to realise that my smile is more worthy than anything else and I can not leave anyone or anything steal that smile from me.

It took me one month away and I have realised that life cycle hasn't stopped. It is that continuous wheel turning and turning...

And it is going away...

Friday, August 02, 2013

Leaving soon!!

 I'll be leaving to that old, old village in the middle of nowhere! I've been here about half an hour ago and I just stood checking my Facebook, my Twitter, The alterium and so on! the time run dry! the time in the Internet has ended and I haven't typed anything that really pleased me! one entry in Portuguese in my other blog! I have been checking stuffs and planning entries, but at the time I've been here, I haven't been able to type anything! That's why I do feel the urge to start writing things in a paper before coming here and trying to write anything. I've read this in a blog I've visited not too long ago, through an old comment I've read to one of my entries! This made me think! This made me realise that I need to start planning things a bit better!
Soon, real soon I'll be 400 km's away from here! soon, I'll be in that very, very old village, that's almost abandoned. The old stories I've heard from that place are inside of my heart! The people who are vanished already, are inside my heart. I'll be walking a wide open sky, with millions of starts to be seen and at night, I might be walking the old road under the pale blue-light from the moon!

I'm looking for a bit of peace of mind! I'll be resting in piece, somehow! I'll be resting, quiet and calm under the sky. i'll smoke one joint in there (i've got hash offered as a birthday gift!) like last year, but it'll feel so much better: I will take the time to listen to my soul and to my thoughts!

I'm leaving soon and i am trying to leave some stuffs prepared for my return!

I'm leaving soon and I am wanting to let myself go... this way, I won't find any disapointment along the way. There will only be me and my soul: my friends are there (or at least, some of them!).