Sunday, December 28, 2014

Checking out

I have been checking what my Google Plus account has. I have been checking who is on people that I might know, due to who I have in common, here and there. This isn't the only confuse account I have online - even my real life is somewhat of confuse.
I am bringing up some stuffs of m,y soul that are no good for readers or viewers -  they are good to calm down my soul. In the matter that I need of my own mess to feel a bit more "calm and satisfied", something that seems to be a nearly impossible task. Nothing calms me down. Nothing satisfies me.
And I will die a madened man with a madened soul and mind.

Friday, December 05, 2014

I miss everything

I miss people that have no idea of how much I do miss them.
I see people that have no idea of how much do they annoy me.
I deal with people that have no idea of how much do I despise them.
The man sitting by side stinks and pushed my chair twice (I'll keep some of the thoughts for me or I would be accused of racism). The man sitting by my side annoys me with his smell. The man by side annoys me by the simple fact of being sitting by my side.
I am trying to get over some of my feelings - some of the people have already realized what do I feel about them and have learned to leave the shit out of me alone; others simply seem to be such idiots and to insist on formulas cursed from the very beggining. C'mon, are you that dumb?! Are you that idiot, that you wouldn't realize that you are annoying me or do you feel that good by leaving so pissed off, that all my answers are going to be incisive, for you and for everyone around me?! Even you, my sweet friend, even you are always insisting on old and humilitiang jokes? Why is that? Do I have to accept, like you're always claiming, to be humiliated in front of everyone? Do I have to accept it as a joke, like you're always saying, as you're continuosly humiliating me?
No one understands what moves me: I just want to be left alone. Soon, if things go well, I'll leave this wicked place and very, very few people are going to see me ever again. No one understands me and, honestly, I want to leave you thinking of me like a nice stranger, instead of the good ol' friend, who you had fun of, who you humiliated as many times as you wanted to, just to feel much better with yourself.
I miss people. I miss places. I miss my life before all this. I miss my childhood. I miss my dreams. I miss my hopes. I miss everything before the shit has hitted the fan!