Way too many things...
There could have been way too many things that could have been said. There could have bee way too many things that could have been done. This tablet is turnng out to be such a difficult thing to use. This wicked tablet is turning out to be a difficult tool, but I'll win this fight today. My mood is not the best: maybe it is due to the stupid hungover. Maybe not.
Last night, things should have been wa different. I smoked a few joints and two tequila shots made the combination a bit harsh. I freaked out at useless things. I freaked out at people playing with me.. or joking at me, as they use to do. It is not important today. The mood is not the best to think and evaluate las nit. Mabe later on. Maybe tomorrow. Or maybe not.
I've bee thinkinkg about myself. I've been thinkng on who I used to be and on who I am. Some thngs are way different. Others, are exactly the same. I still dream of rich and fame. I still dream... but that is all. There is not much effort put into my plans. I still see some stuffs that I used to. I am seing new stuffs and people nowadays. People who seemed impossible to me in a not so distant past, seem now closer and easier to be "caught" nowadays. Since they're almost not posing a challenge nowadays, they seem not so appealing to me. In the other hand, there are people who seem challenging enough, althou easy enough to be appealing. What to do? In the due tme, I will find out.
In times, I used to be searching for love. How many scorpions have poisoned me with their spike, when I lifted the stones to see if the charming prince was hiding under one of them? Nowadays, it is like the magic fuck: I do fuck and I do disappear. I crave and I despise it. Love?... love is for fairytales and for poets. And it is n the poetry that I crave and that I cry for the lost love and for the new born love that seems to never come on over and to not show up. There is no love in my life. And i my own will, there won't be another one. I am losing that huge like on losing the control on stuffs and on situations. I don't want to be crazy and stupid enough again to let myself go, to lose the control on my thoughts, to think on someone 24 / 7, like if there wasn't anything or anyone else in the world. My mnd is traned enough to let go of peopLe when they have satisfied me. Men, in this very specific case.
I am sitting in the cafe alone. People around me aren't important. The smoke of their cigarettes neither. There must be something else. Things are way boring this way. Life is way too boring this way.
I am sick and tired of all of this. People aren't affraid of suicidal thoughts or acts nowadays, as if the would be years ago, if the read such words. I am just too sick and too tired. Sometimes, despair is way too big to even let me think or react.
I wish I could turn back time.
I wish I could be a children again, with all these bad thngs erased and corrected.
All the dead ones would be alive and still would walk this Earth...
I wish that way to many things would have been different...
There is nothing left but longings and I am doing of longings my real soul and existance...
Last night, things should have been wa different. I smoked a few joints and two tequila shots made the combination a bit harsh. I freaked out at useless things. I freaked out at people playing with me.. or joking at me, as they use to do. It is not important today. The mood is not the best to think and evaluate las nit. Mabe later on. Maybe tomorrow. Or maybe not.
I've bee thinkinkg about myself. I've been thinkng on who I used to be and on who I am. Some thngs are way different. Others, are exactly the same. I still dream of rich and fame. I still dream... but that is all. There is not much effort put into my plans. I still see some stuffs that I used to. I am seing new stuffs and people nowadays. People who seemed impossible to me in a not so distant past, seem now closer and easier to be "caught" nowadays. Since they're almost not posing a challenge nowadays, they seem not so appealing to me. In the other hand, there are people who seem challenging enough, althou easy enough to be appealing. What to do? In the due tme, I will find out.
In times, I used to be searching for love. How many scorpions have poisoned me with their spike, when I lifted the stones to see if the charming prince was hiding under one of them? Nowadays, it is like the magic fuck: I do fuck and I do disappear. I crave and I despise it. Love?... love is for fairytales and for poets. And it is n the poetry that I crave and that I cry for the lost love and for the new born love that seems to never come on over and to not show up. There is no love in my life. And i my own will, there won't be another one. I am losing that huge like on losing the control on stuffs and on situations. I don't want to be crazy and stupid enough again to let myself go, to lose the control on my thoughts, to think on someone 24 / 7, like if there wasn't anything or anyone else in the world. My mnd is traned enough to let go of peopLe when they have satisfied me. Men, in this very specific case.
I am sitting in the cafe alone. People around me aren't important. The smoke of their cigarettes neither. There must be something else. Things are way boring this way. Life is way too boring this way.
I am sick and tired of all of this. People aren't affraid of suicidal thoughts or acts nowadays, as if the would be years ago, if the read such words. I am just too sick and too tired. Sometimes, despair is way too big to even let me think or react.
I wish I could turn back time.
I wish I could be a children again, with all these bad thngs erased and corrected.
All the dead ones would be alive and still would walk this Earth...
I wish that way to many things would have been different...
There is nothing left but longings and I am doing of longings my real soul and existance...
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