The (good) energy of children

I am a gay dude. Being a gay dude doesn't means I can not have children. Or, in this topic, my own. I can "rent" a belly. I can cheat myself and get married wit a woman (this also means, cheating on the woman I get married with). I can adopt. But honestly, while in times I have thought about having kids, nowadays that was something I wasn't thinking on anymore... until that a friend of mine appearead with her daughter in the cafe and the little girl even seems a bit "attached" to me.

Children! They are the treasure of this world, with all their innocence. They can be the light of our dark days. I have thought... and my thouts include children. Mabe having my own. Maybe adopting one or two kids. Just maybe... these thoughts are like the flashing lights getting weak. Eventually, this thought will vanish and disappear.

What could I have to offer or to teach to a children? I can't see or imagine anything. But still, my thought keeps the smile of children of my life: kids of friends, cousins. Kids require a good dose of energy to deal with them. What is required to have them being ours? Energy. Moe energy. A great amount of education, time, patience, money, and the goddammit list keeps going. Perhaps, someday I will put the effort of following my dreams, fighting for them and I can make a good money out of them. Then, if my thoughts keep having children, I can think on getting and adopting my own.

At this moment, I need myself and my own time and space.

That is all. And that is all that matters.

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