Thinking of you again

It bites!

In one of these lonely nights while I was writing a few poems, you came across my mind again - I've promised myself that I've left you go, that I wouldn't be writing to you again, about you ever again!

After this long morning and a night with a very short sleep, here I am at my aunt's house, listening to this song - somehow it reminds of you, although we've never been from each other! You're just a dream of mine, someone that I think that has been more present in my life than I could ever judge: before our conversations online with a web camera turned on and naked bodies, I believe that I have seen you in a train headed to the North of the country. One of my older paintings makes me think and believe that it's you. I've seen you two or more times in that train, when I was a regular costumer of the Northern line.

I have promised that I wouldn't leave you to disturb or annoy me ever again: your car has passed by me in one of these nights. It's hard not to look automatically to the car badges, after all the frights that I have got through your car and through the nights that you've haunted me with it in dark and desert streets!

You're my dream and my fantasy - I am a ghost of your past, the evidence of your "crimes" with no evidences at all.

Maybe you are the reason why love has become something so bitter for me - when I was younger, it seemed to be the reason why I lived for: to hase and to find it. I have believed that's what artists live for, to love and to be loved and then to portrait it in their art, it oesn't matter if it's painting / drawing or writing or even making music.

Here I am, thinking of you again!