One more night out in the café!!

One more night... It gone by, one more night... More cigarettes... More drinks (coke, in my case)... More ashes in the ashtrays... More conversations... More laughs... More melancholy for me...

I decided to take my mobile off my pocket and starting recording the night. I got three nice videos of us talking, laughing, smoking, drinking and all the normal things in the café. It was so nice, but when I record those nights, it's like if I was wanting to stay alive through those videos. May be that the reason? May be that why I always want to have videos of mine, in those nights out, in the café?

I can not explain the reason. I couldn't do it. There are a few things in my life that has no reason to be, that has no reason to happen... Like the cigarettes I smoke. The ashes they do. The ashes the wind takes from them. My sadness. My melancholy. My desires. My dreams. My hopes.

What are dreams made of? Why do they come to us? Why do some people dream of prophecies and others don't?

After this night out, went with a girl to the ATM, after the car ride, not to let her go alone and stood a while with them, because of a lil' gang passing by. Cool! Went down the stairs, walked the tunnel way fast and got inside home. Right now, they're possibly drinking, dancing, having fun... I wanted to. If I had money... They said someone could pay me the night out... I wanted to. If I had the guts to stand my mum's face, reproving everything I do, everything in my life... I am missing one night out... I am missing one car ride in the highway, in high speed, through the night, under the moonlight...

Ghosts... My ghosts are there... I've seen him... And he's haunting me... I can't move on... I can't be happy... And I can not forget...

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