Rambling. Not sure about what.

There aren't too many words to be said. I search and keep on searching and yet it seems the answers are so far away. Or maybe, I'm just asking the wrong questions?

I am searching for a reason to not to give up. No, I'm not suicidal. I am simply feeling like if things have a thing on going wrong. I know some of you out there feel the same at times. Maybe, you sit somewhere, or lay in the middle of nowhere and you look at the starry sky. Maybe, the moon is full and you admire the moonlight on the nocturnal fields. And everything seems on for a few days. I know this feeling too.

I am at a point that I feel completely overwhelmed by the bad things that happen. They seem to come in pairs or three at a time.

No time to cry.

No time to rest.

I am looking to my old diaries. I have been rewriting them, editing them. And by editing, I mean choosing the trash to be thrown away, that too personal to be recycled into new paper, to be burnt or to simply pretend it'd snowing, as I rip the pages in very small scraps and throw them away out of my window, especially if it rains and the wind is too strong.

I look to the old diaries and to the new notebook, where I have been putting old feelings, sticking old drawings with glue and decorating pages with my bored pen.

The night is passing by slowly.

I wasn't in the best mood during the whole day, but the night at the cafe where I work, after all the cleanings are done and after all of the costumers have left, except for an old school acquaintance, calmed me down.

My mind plays tricks and a brand new music drives me somewhere else.

I dream. I keep on dreaming and yet everything is dead.

The night kisses my soul. 

And it's time to go.