feelings I don't want to taste again: love!


It happens that my mind is struggling with way too many things. It struggles with too many ideas and too many thoughts.
People ask me when will I get over this way of being. People keep asking when will I swallow my pride and allow someone to enter my life. People remember some of these questions from times t times and the awake what takes me a bit of time to hide and kill. It happens that my lack of interest makes me feel like there's nothing good popping out of any of these guys out there. And I am sure that there's nothing really good coming out. For me, for they. No one's safe out of love. It's no good. It's nothing I desire nowadays.
A little time ago, I've been told not to think about forever. Forever is no good. But it happens that when people keep telling me not to think about forever, they fall in the same trap I've been trapped on. They start thinking about forever, they tart thinking on new option, new lives, new love stories. And it kinda scares me. I can not let myself go, without thinking about all the risks and about all the secrets.
It rains outside and here I am. Typing while listening to music from youtube. Typing about the mess within me. So many things have changed and this is one of those I hope that never change: to recognise that this is not the feeling I want to try and taste ever again.

Comments

Elizabete ღ said…
I was going to type about that habit of yours, to always see so far when it comes to love – and then I just saw that someone has already talked to you about that. You’re always making the worst scenarios, the bad outcomes, about something that you don’t even allow yourself to actually start!
And you keep asking “why?”… But why not?
I mean, it hurts, yes. Sometimes it hurts like hell, sometimes a little less – but, honestly, you don’t really sound not hurting right now, right?
Have you stop one second to think that you may not even get hurt, you may try and give a little of yourself and then find out that it was not even LOVE, it may just be luxury and passion but with all the cuddling and beach walks and all those things? It happens, you know? Sometimes, you just feel good with someone else, without actually be IN LOVE for the rest of your life…
The truth is that you are blocking yourself to a lot of things with that fear of yours about love...

Well, that’s my way of thinking…
2/20/14, 4:58 PM
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