Mental Status: too highed for his own security!


Where in this world?
I've always thought an seriously imagined that when we've reached the adult age, there would be some kind of sign. Something truly markable.
In the other day, I have realised that I am seriously a 26 years old man, mentally aged 15 and acting a bit alike that. Could have this been my own sign?
I am in the cafe, but this is not comfortable to write. Maybe because there are too many familiar or friendly faces around. Maybe because I'm highed. Maybe not.
I was in the right path. I have chosen to do the right thing. My heart was filled with good and honest intentions. And there gone the good intentions down the toilet yesterday in the afternoon. I choose. I mistake. Mea Culpa
I am nothing. I have chosen to be nothing. I have chosen to act like that. Now I want to change no one truly believes me! Mea culpa
Making much more sense to shut up, to lock my-fucking-self up at home, not allowing myself to see anyone, nor anyone to see me. It's my fault, I shall punish myself nd keep working on the changes.
Kneel. Close your eyes. Say it to yourself and start believing: "you're nothing, you'll never be anythingnand will never ever get anything, unless you get your fucking sorry ass up and go for it. Start working and working the mind for the changes. Start changing and changing the mind for sucess. It only depends on you. GO. RUN FOR YOUR SHITTY LIFE. MOVE YOUR FUCKING ASS". Listen to those whispers becoming yells within your mental life. Do the changes there, so the changes are made out here. Stop being a simple viewer / spectator of this life and start creating a new one. It's for you. It's for me. For all those in our situation.
Call me. Don't do it. Speak to me in the streets or turn your face aside. See cars passing by or dare yourself to lose the fear of that comfortable place and be inside of one of them. See the moon in the city's sky or look down, allowing to chances to run away.
My mind is travelling.
My mind is close and far enough.
Time is pasing by and an urge to go home hits my soul.
"5 more minutes..." always turn onto endless hours lost...
Time to go. To shave my big beard and take a truly relaxing and warm shower. To let bad thoughts to go away with the water.

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