Card Games

I am at my friend's C. house. There are her boyfriend, his cousin and his cousin's husband here too. They are playing cards. I want to play too, but the game allow four people to play only. So I am here, in front of the laptop, typing this entry, right after I have been seing my Facebook, seing some pictures, posting some stuffs... Still pondering on deleting my Facebook account, althought I won't do it now. Perhaps I won't do it AT ALL, but still is a good thing to think about. Perhaps, I might think on creating the so famous second account, but without being the secret account that I was wanting to create, due to some ideas for another blog.

I hear the cards hitting the table, after my friend picks them. I want to play! They talk, comment on the game and laugh. I simply get foccused on the laptop's keyboard and on the laptop's screen. They laugh out loud and do anoither comment and I take a glimpse and the gambling group.

Card games... We could think on tarot deck, cards being thrown on the table, smoke of cigars. I hear one of them talking about leaving and I am now thinking on the streets that I have to walk. Perhaps it's raining outside. Perhaps the sky is clean and it'll allow me to see the moon (which is the mon's phase tonight?).

I am not sure of what I do want from life. Today, I am not even sure if I want to keep going on this life. It's a phase. It's always a phase. Feeling sad is part of me, although I am not mentioning it all the time. My desire of Death is here either, but I am not mentioning it either. I still feel the burning fire within my soul, but I prefer to shut it up and keep it for poetry. Poetry is now my haven: used to paint, but decided to stop until I mange to study again. There's no job in sight yet, but I do want to get back to my studies, if I get a job which allows me to.

I am leaving in a few minutes, but my thoughts will follow me.