Home Alone (NOT the movie)
Probably, this is the very first time I am sad with a reason to be... Maybe this is the very first time, in many years, I am quietly sit in the chair, just listening to mp3 and thinking about stuffs. Maybe this is what I was needing for a long time: being alone!
But being alone is not that pleasant as I always felt, since we have the person we wish far from us. I am not talking about a guy laid naked in my bed, smiling satisfied afte he us my butt for his own pleasure. I am not talking about a boyfriend delightening in pleasure with kisses. I am talking about my mother. Though we fight each other 99,9% of the week, I miss her and ths is the first night she's spending out, at her boss' house, while he's away with his wife and left his kids behind. It's a weird feeling... This lonely night is just being great, but I feel emptier, sad, needing company... Somehow, the happily-and-proudly-alone-beast needs company!
It's a cold night out there and right in front of me, there's an open window. I feel the breeze crossing my body, my skin and flesh and reaching the bones. Right next to me, lay an ashtray with ashes from my cigarettes. I'm lightening a new cigarette and pulling the smoke to my lungs. I suppose I'll drink one of the two mini martini's bottles I have hidden in my bedroom, to make it more perfect...
For thevery first time, there's silence in the house. For the very first time, there's dark in here, while TV is playing muted, just to have a little bit o movement in this room. I need something to take me out of this state of comma. It's an awful feeling; anyhow I can feel!!
I am deadly confused... I am going to sleep for a few hours... Just finishing my cigarette and I'll be sleeping!
But being alone is not that pleasant as I always felt, since we have the person we wish far from us. I am not talking about a guy laid naked in my bed, smiling satisfied afte he us my butt for his own pleasure. I am not talking about a boyfriend delightening in pleasure with kisses. I am talking about my mother. Though we fight each other 99,9% of the week, I miss her and ths is the first night she's spending out, at her boss' house, while he's away with his wife and left his kids behind. It's a weird feeling... This lonely night is just being great, but I feel emptier, sad, needing company... Somehow, the happily-and-proudly-alone-beast needs company!
It's a cold night out there and right in front of me, there's an open window. I feel the breeze crossing my body, my skin and flesh and reaching the bones. Right next to me, lay an ashtray with ashes from my cigarettes. I'm lightening a new cigarette and pulling the smoke to my lungs. I suppose I'll drink one of the two mini martini's bottles I have hidden in my bedroom, to make it more perfect...
For thevery first time, there's silence in the house. For the very first time, there's dark in here, while TV is playing muted, just to have a little bit o movement in this room. I need something to take me out of this state of comma. It's an awful feeling; anyhow I can feel!!
I am deadly confused... I am going to sleep for a few hours... Just finishing my cigarette and I'll be sleeping!
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