Going Crazy

Sometimes, I feel like trapped. I feel like I was sinking in a sea of madness. I feel like crazy right now, by the way.

I live in an apartment and I own one cat and, more recently, a little dog. Till the moment, all could be fine, if it wasn't the cat scratching the dog, the dog barking, pissing and shitting all over and my mother making some comments making me feel like guilty for all the shits involved in her life. I clean shit and piss, I try to raise the dog, to teach him, but he barks and bites me, like I was a huge bone. Sometimes, I feel like he was anger against me.

I feel like in a spiral of madness... Falling, falling... And it've been only the first two days of the dog in the house. I feel too tired to do anything else. I just can't wait to lay down and to sleep, to rest, for the next three hours, before going to my job to face 9 more hours of work. I feel like I was going to explode and to implode at the same time. I need freedom... I need music, like the one of Karunesh titled "For The Joy Of It All". I wish I was in a beach, with a fire, with lots of people playing some instruments, like djambés and other kinds of, for me to sing and dance around the fire. I really need freedom... I wish I was with a hot man in a jeep, being driven to the night, to a night like this, for my own pleasure and delight, for kissing, for sex, or just for a simple hug next to a fireplace somewhere. Even if it was only a simple hug, I would be so fine now. Only us, the night, the sea and the silence!