Still struggling with inner issues

Still struggling with the same issues due to the second twitter account. Still struggling at the idea that, perhaps, I am being such an asshole for "hidding" myself at this age, from friends, from "friends", acquaintances and the list of people that I might be hiding for can be longer... how much longer!

 I am still struggling at the need of music... of creating something, although I feel blocked at this moment. I want to write, but I try and I end up killing the lines. Sometimes, I rip the page I have written on with the pen, as I try to "hide" what I have writen previously, because it unpleases me, be cause I think it's a very low quality "material". I am thinking about drawing and/or painting something, but I don't put pencils / charcoal / brushes to paper / canvas for a long, long time. That's my passion and used to be my security, but it's just something that remains mostly in the past.

 There's so much more going within my mind... In the last two or three weeks, my mind is going insane. Lots of things flying. Imagine those fantastic movies: the spirit invades the room and opens wide the window, while the thunderstorm hits the place outside. Papaers flying and the candles' lights tremble, but they remain lightning the room magically.

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