I can not name this post... Not by a lack of imagination, no for fear of fail, not for anything in particular... Maybe for everything in particular. Maybe because I m highed (it might sound ordinary, lately), but I set my imagination freer when I am highed, like tonight. That's somethign good and bad at the same time. Like when we washed cartoons and when someone needs it's conscience, imadatelly appears one angel near one hear a a horny little devil in the other. *hehe*

I am highed... I just read E.'s and Ludi's blogs, I commented them and now I am here... But E. named the post "NOT FUNNY" and it was so funny in the end. Ludi wrote a pst about Groupies and ideas and thought the matter of those two posts were different, they was so looke like to each other... Somehow, they really did... And I was working something out in my mind... And something worked out with the weed I smoked... And something made a light be turnt on in my mind and other something turnt it off. And I wanna stop being like this... I do not mean I am addicted... This shitty thing doesn't addicts people... I mean, I would like to stop being so instable. I would like to be able to feel things in a "harder" way, a littl bit like a masculine straight man of my age. But I feel things just too much... I am moody, my instability on my mood changes is too bad... Unsatisfied about everything... Never confortable...Nights without sleeping... Smoking weed and boozing to "stay alive"... Working oo hard and not gettin paid... Too many thoughts, to much weed and one single night...

I am feeling confused... Affraid of my own soul... Neding to create and like an unavailable womb, aborting the ideas, the confusion, instead of creating the perfect child of mine... Soon, I'll wake up... And I'll realise that I have the power in my hands to change... I am just behaving like someone who has a fat ass and I am not moving it to anything, but to scratch it... WRONG! I need stop being like the american movies' fat guys, moving in the couch, with a t-shirt and his underwear only on, with popcorns over his pregnant look belly and the remot control in the hand...*goth save me*

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