Playing Monopoly until late hours... Bad mood all the way...

4 a.m.. I should be at home for a long time by now. But here i am, at my friend Marco's house, playing Monopoly with him and with another friend of ours. I mean, I am no longer playing Monopoly, as I simply quit, when both the players turned out to become too big Lords for my tiny pocket. Even in the game, my own life's repeated. No money meaning my desistence. I care not, it is just a wicked game!

We've been listening to Marilyn Manson and then Marco changed the CD. At this moment, in the tiny living room that he created in his old bedroom, Dani Filth is yelling and growling. They keep playing and I can listen to their laughs. I can listen to them discussing the game. Damned!

My mood hasn't been the best one in the last few days. On Manhunt, the gay website I am at, I have been contacted by a dude of my own age. After seing my pictures, he seemed quite interested in me. My mood (back to it) hasn't properly been the best one, so this dude has been standing several and long conversations on how i want to be left alone. The dude seemed a bit resistent, but he lasted for three days. I try no to look for him. Send h three text messages today and got two back. He virtually died, like a character I could kill within me in a bad quality novel or short story, after several hits of bad humour. This dude virtually died and, maybe like a real life death, he's not coming back. Perhaps he is, tomorrow or something. We never know. The last dude I have decided to give him a try, stopped texting me just like that. i felt not bothered, as I deleted his number days after. Seems that not telling the truth drives us to a place where we're called of dishonest. But telling out the truth, leads us to be bitches at others' mouth or, at least, very, very spooky!

My mood has been shitty and for a long, long time that i didn't had a chance to sit down, without anyone observing me or close enough to read these personal lines while they're being written. i don't mind people reading a few stuffs after they're written, but i don't feel comfortable being read while i tymping or writng whatever I am typing or writing (of course that the lines might not contain TOO personal shits, or i won't write them at all, not even in my diaries. There are a few truths I don'0t even confess to myself: it's far enough for me to have to live with them in a daily basis!)

But this night out playing Monopoly with two dear friends of mine has been really good. i laughed and enjoyed a few hours of fun. the music has been really good and very reminder of my "birth" place. I just need to improve the changes to finally be myself again. I want to be able to look to myself again and feeling comfortable with what I am seing. And i have been a bit more lazy about that already. And in the end, when that atitude is taken, no one will ever be able to point a finger again. When you're pointing a finger, I have a favorite saying / quote for such situation: Just remember, when you're pointing a finger, there are three fingers pointing to yourself!