Angel Alucard

Seems that today is another crazy day! I am almost guessing that not even on my grand dad's house (miss you, grandpa! R.I.P.) I will loose the insanity in my life! I am not going to have any regular vacations! Crazy things keep happening!  There are people returning... they're not returning from the dead, but it is almost a way of seing it! People whom I knew they were around, but they simply wasn't coming around here! There are people who know are acting up, like nothing has ever happened. It feels way good, somehow... Those who "return from the dead", keep looking at me, although their look is more direct now. You still look at me, you almost don't hide it! You are the one leaving the place, when I am around! I do still feel bothered, but I won't be let you bring me down, I won't allow you the simply right to move a finger! In Sofy's car, sat at her seat, with the legs outside the car, I have seen you through the smoke of the joint! I ha...

So back to the weekend! Back to the man in my bed! Back to the lost purse of my friend! Alongside with this purse, he has lost his car keys, money, documents. My friend S. called me right after the lunch and I was thinking she was calling me for a coffee, but then she hitted me with such a bomb: his car has been stolen during the night! Plus, she also said the he reported the stealing to the cops (what's just natural!) and I heard that it would be way better that we all from that night went to the police station to give our names out! He mistrusts two women who was with us all night long. Mother and daughter, who works as escorts, that went with us to the disco and who just pestered people all night long! Such as S. said, we went out, trusting people around us and the day we take any outsiders with us, there's something like that happening! I wanted to vent this out! I have to confess that I am a bit hungover yet and I am not planning on going to the café now. I want t...

... or when I think that no one will ever surprise me again, here comes a dude to makes that just an old chimera. There's someone who always makes something that turns my world and my beliefs upside down. I make the mistake and I am now wanting to simply run away from it. But it was such a pleasant mistake... But still a mistake!! Something that was never supposed to happen. I usedf to be almost a momnth without going out. Sometimes, I used to spend way more time inside the house, than in the outside... at the moment, I spend most of nights out, I arrive home at lunch time or even later!

OK, so I really need to decide what I do really want to do! I do really need to decide on how I do want to work with my blogs. Dancing with my soul... I wrote in one of my other blogs, but I deleted such entry right away. There were stuffs there that were way too personal - I will keep them for my diary. There's nothing way too personal that I can not write in my diaries. But in the other hand, there is something way too personal, that I almost do not admit it to myself. But what happnened the last night is not one of them... Part of my amnesia is not something I would like to hide... My eyes are set on the gorgeous Indian man of the store. I imegine stuffs... I have ideas... But they end up being only ideas and fantasies... Things that I possibly will write in a short porn / eros. Time to leave... Time to go. One hour = €1. I still have other stuffs to do out there. I still have a walk to give, although I might not walk so far as I was thinking. Incense sticks are burning ...

No pressure... yet! No hurry... yet! Been listening to music, checking Facebook and now am here, writing this. I had something to say, that had nothing to do with sea, sunset, Summer, etc., but this means nothing. Lately, I think on what I do want to write on my blogs, on what I would like to share with people, but I end up writing something completing different of what I first planned! Same is going on today... No beach for me today. Went to lunch with a friend, her daughter and a friend of ours. In the Brazilian restaurant, I just noticed one of the waiters. A very handsome, muscular waiter. Then we went shopping with her. We hanged around. We came up to our city. We smoked one. I just feed the kitten and here I am!! I decided to share something. And that something just gone away. I decided to show a different thing. I decided to change. It's hard, but to decide is just a tiny step. It's far from being the change itself, but it's an idea. Not even an action, but an ...

Yesterday in the afternoon, after my mom arrive from the beach and from her friend's daughter house, she brought a very dark, furry spot in her right arm. It was a kitty, with a few days of life, that someone abandoned. My mum's friend insisted so much, said that she would pay the vet to the kitty and all those stuffs, what convinced my mum. Our older cat died last Summer, and he the only one we had since the younger one died. Both Cats died without being seen by a vet. The reason was, my mum's money is not enough for all the stuffs required: pay the house, the bills, animals food and the whole bunch to be paid off. And the fact that I am not working doesn't helps, but still the kitty is now in my kitchen, I just gave him his milk and came off to write a bit, to brag a bit, to check facebook and the ordinary errands that Internet demands. I just arrived from the beach. Spent the whole morning and the greatest part of the afternoon there. I have a little sun burnt in m...

Late at night in the street. Silence. Cars in the road. You used to made me think you was following me.I used to think you was wanting to scare me. I used to believe that. I barely see you nowadays... Not even to your car! But I did found out a new car, very look alike with yours, but this new guy is the one who works in my street. This guy, is the one who now goes to the café, even if it's only to take the hormones' injection due to the gym. This guy is the one whose car I see more times than I would really like, is the guy who looks at me, making me feel uncomfortable with his presence. This guy gives me the feeling of something that's not good at all, about to happen. This guy... This guy... Just let it rolls and we'll see where it goes. We'll see where and how it'll ends!! In the end of the day, I still hang out the streets. Fortunatelly, I think I have a very good friend who I can count on, if anything goes outta control, if someone decides to try...

And it has so much that can be said. €0,50, half an hour of internet. It's enough. those €0,50 has been spent with the single purpose of blogging (maybe in the three ones I am rulling at the moment) and checking Facebook and Twitter. €0,50 to balab about so much and nothing at the same time. But let's start from the beggining. For some people, to know that I go way too high this last Saturday night it might not be a surprise. In fact, the surprise would be if I have kept myself sobber during the weekend. But even when getting high, stuffs pop out in my life. I find out that some people who are smiling at me, in certain situations, got the access to some secrets of mine. They comment on my life, in my back, but they keep smiling. It could be worse, if I couldn't read in their eyes. Still, it was a shock for me that they have found that secret out. There's only one person who could have spoken about that, who could have extended her stupid tongue full of shit. But th...

So my time, like lately, is running away, like sand dripping between my fingers. I do really need to get up and go home. I do need to walk down the night streets to arrive home, with the fear of thugs in the night. I do need to do so many things, but seems that I am too lazy to move, to do anything for my life. Anything truly useful, worthy and important for my life. I read a blog entry that made me realise some mistakes and still, sat here, instead getting up and just leave. A strong knock on my friend's door. I jumped in the chair. The night is hot and I hear them crawling in the walls. I hear them calling my name. Can't you hear the streets? Can't you hear the night beings? After a week partying, I decided not to party tonight. Staying "real". Staying foccused in me, in my thoughts, in my ideas. I do need to get foccused, but then againb, there's always something pulling me away... The night is so hot... The night calls for me... And it's time to ...

Everytime I decide to pay one hour or even half an hour in here, I always think on what and how much I do want to write. I settle some ideas for what to write, what to debate, what to say... And it ends up for not being anything of that special. It ends up being way different of what I have "dreamed" and planned... Anyways, I am always here, even when I do realise that there are only a few minutes left Facebooki and Twitter have done their magic for today, so here I am, trying to write anything. Here I am, consuming my energy with things that will never ever lead me anywhere and if they do, they'll do that by accident. I go deeper, further in my ideas and thoughts. They are not usable. I check facebook again and then I head here again... If I could be able to change the stuffs in the immediate day, I would be terribly pleased. But things aren't that simpkle and so I keep dreaming of evrything and of nothing. I keep seing my dreams as real things, as real people, a...