The Broken Boy



Am here for a few hours trying to decide what to write down. Wished I could do happier things!! Wished I could do pretty things, but this is the way I am!! And for the time I got this open, to write down something, after talking to him, after being telling him more on what's going on wrong with me, being with the liars' song on, for some reason that I unknown myself. Been here for too long, almost crying, just because he is not giving up on me, just because he's saying that I can count on him anytime, just because he's in my life, eventhough it's not real yet, it's just virtual, but no judgements, no demandings (just the demanding for my happiness), blah, blah, blah...

Am broken... Am really broken... My healt is no longer perfect, it'll never be perfect again, but I can do lots of things, like I always did. Nothing will stop me!!

Just got a proposal from a Portuguese actor who added me in the FB for registering my poetries in the portuguese society of authors, so I'll get paid whenever I publish a book with them. I can also register my paintings! I do believe it might be wonderful, it might help me a lot, being a registered author, but what's behind this helping? It can be a uninterested action, but what if?? The old "what if" thingy!! Everyone has a dark side (in my case, we can say that I have a light side xD  ). He says he can do this for me for free, but i've learnt on my own that nothing's for free in life, neither love, nor pleasure! I think I'll take it on... I think I'll face the danger, no matter what!! Yeah, love, I'll take te danger of tkaing this offer on, take a lil bit of the risk. Yeah, Sofy, I'll take it on. Maybe then you won't say that I don't live, maybe then you'll see I am taking the right steps on the right path!!

Broken... Physically... Broken... Mentally... Broken... Spiritualy...

My feelings are never the same. People use to have a line of feeling, it's never too extreme, I am always in the limbo, over depression or euphoria... This is not good, but am fighting this as hard as I can, only for you, love!! You might not love me, but I am wanting really hard to love you!!

No more loneliness... No more longings on what if... Just me and you... You and I... And nothing else would matter!!

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