Despair on Love!!



Lately, it's hard for me to see old pictures. It's hard for me to think on someone I love, because lately I realise my friendships are loves too bigs to be felt like a simple friendship. People in my life are my loves!! I love them so hard that I feel despair just thinking about them! The sea is another HUGE love of mine!! The rain, that's right now falling out there, that leaves an awesome smell of wet earth and wet cement, due to the city, is my obsession, I love walking the streets while it's raining, feeling the rain in my face, in my hair, weting my body!!

Everything, lately, can be related to a sexual desire, to a sexual touch on my body... The simple massage a friend of mine did on my neck last night could be done in a sexual content, but in the middle of the café, just because my neck hurts over two weeks.

I can't explain... In my Facebook, two minutes ago, I saw my tagged pictures, by a friend of mine profile, old pictures, of old smiles, of old laughs and it was just too grand, for my to contain what I feel inside! I love these people in my life, I love them more than I can stand, and I need them there. They've been there in the worse situations in my life, they've been my life saviours, they've been my lungs to breathe, my legs to walk, my eyes to see, when I was too blind to realise about anything!! Thank you all for being there, thanks for the beautifulm thoughts you all give me in melancholic afternoons like this, when rain comes down and my mind starts working in beautiful images, songs and so on!!

I love all you, including penpals, who became extraordinary friends, Like Elizabeth, Erin, my virtual friend, Ludivine, all my friends who I know for years or months... I love you all I need you all in my life... This is despair for you and about you all!! Thank you!!! I love you!!!

Thank you to the sea!! To the rain!! To the night!! To the sun!! To graveyards!! To my paintings!! To my writings!! To my musics!! To those who I sing!! Thanks to everything and to evrytone involved in my life!! I desperatelly love you all!!

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