Going Back


I am going back... Once again, I wake up early and go to my job. This is the night before one more day on the daily routine of my job in that caffé I work at... They're owing me more than €1000 for my work, but not even that makes me put my arms down and giving up on that. Yesterday, I worked 12h, because my work mate sent an SMS to my boss saying he wouldn't be working, because he was sick. Goddammit, I do not believe in that disease... At 6 a.m. he should be sleeping and he was sending a SMS to our boss. I bet he went to a disco or any shitty place and he didn't slept enough and he broke my plans for that day...
I am trying to open my own caffé and I should be visiting one caffé to get for me,but I was trapped there thanks to him. THANK YOU, ASSHOLE!
Anyway, this is not how I have ever imagined my life... Not working like a dog and getting no cash to pay my bills, with no free time to send my letters along... I have never imagined I would take an year to send my letters along. I still have my friend's Elizabeth letter to send, but I do not have her stamps. The little letter I sent her with them filled in, must have been lost by the post office guys... Lame and they should get fired... Burnt in a fire, after I fuck them roughly... I miss my friend's words and I will type a letter to her tomorrow as I find patience to wait for my old desktop to open up. My laptop has Word locked, so I need to go back to my old desktop. I know she doesn't like typed letters, but that's the only way I have to write her without anykind of interruption, without being with the pen in my hand and getting up to do anything else. I am getting too crazy, I can not do anything for more than 5 minutes, that I get bored... I don't even write, I don't even paint... I can't stand other people touch... It disgusts me! I can't stand the idea of having someone, a boyfriend or such, but in the other hand, I am getting afraid of being alone...
I hope Elizabeth can read this, I hope she finds a little time to read this... She and all my friends and can forgive me for everything, for all the delays, for all the lost items, for all the lost words, for all the time I took wrting them back, answring their e-mails, replying their phone calls...
Sorry, my loves! I will be back soon... I hope!

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