I know It Has Been A While

I know it has been a long, long time since I last wrote something here. Or it has been a long time since I wrote anything at all.

In the last six to seven months, my life has given a turn of 180 degrees. And it could be something good, if it weren´t for health matters (not my own) and for death matters as well (then again, not my own death). I do not want to disclose too many details and I think it doesn’t matter to any strangers that may stumble upon my blog.

I am back and I´m not sure if I´ll stay here for too long. I have mentioned my desire to move ahead and switch my blog: perhaps start over here on Google or even switch platforms. My friend E. told me to keep going here and to correct whatever I wanted to correct and do whatever I thought that might needed to be done, but I still feel like starting over. In the last months, when my world crumbled down, I thought I could start over everything about my life online: my social networks, my blogs… and it still means everything. Then again and about all this, I am almost dropping down too many details and almost saying “fuck it, let´s do it!” It happens that details are for me only.

Its four and half in the morning and the last two hours and a half have been spent trying to do something that, in a good computer, I would´ve done in half an hour. Sad, isn´t it? I guess this only what I deserve, because I haven´t been trustworthy and I haven´t worked hard enough in the past. Not even the very hard months that I´ve been through, have served to pay for the lack of work, for the lack of effort, for the lack of whatever God or Goddess or Gods or Goddesses or whatever are the Higher Ruling entities have seen in my poor and stupid creature.

It doesn´t matter: weeps won´t change anything. Only work will and working I have been. I have put myself in the effort to change some aspects in my life. Still about those efforts, I am aware that I have disclosed too much information to a little too many people, but it was like if I had to justify myself for not accepting their aid in some stuffs, like getting myself a job in a café again (I am really trying to run off that kind profession for the nearest future, but this isn´t the reason); it´s like if I had to justify myself for anything that I didn´t wanted to accept; it´s like if I had to justify myself in front of those who “cannot live without my presence”, but cannot live without annoying me to the point of pissing me off.

I know: it has been a while and although I cannot promise to be here in the long run, I will leave a link to anywhere else I might migrate. If, in the end, I decide to stick around and the odds are in my favor, you´ll read me and my words.