Sempre quis entender-me

Partilho esta música que, em 1980, serviu de banda-sonora a uma telenovela japonesa. Isto, de acordo com o que diz na descrição deste e de outro vídeo da mesma música. Como os anos passam.
Chegámos à Primavera, supostamente. Nos últimos dias de Inverno tivemos um sol tão bom. E o quentinho... calor até. Hoje, saio de casa para deparar-me com um céu nublado e preparado a largar a chuva. Afecta-me sempre este tempo. Ou talvez sejam as súbitas mudanças de temperatura, de luz...
Por vezes, gostava de ter uma percepção maior do meu ser. Gostava de entender porque é que fico tão sério e pensativo, olhando o horizonte, com o mesmo pensamento cheio de coisas negras e tristes. Gostava de entender esta busca incessante de coisas que, nem mesmo eu, consigo entender. Gostava de entender porque é que eu desprezo as coisas que os outros mais procuram (como o amor, por exemplo)!
Coisas que, em tempos, foram tão importantes, hoje já não importam minimamente. E se procuro sempre algo... e se perscruto sempre o horizonte em busca de algo... que é esse algo? Que é que procuro nas longas e solitárias caminhadas pela madrugada? Nas ruas mais vazias e mais sombrias, que é que procuro? E porque é a minha paranóia a razão de continuar vivo?
Arde no meu peito o maior dos fogos... fogo divino? Ou fogo infernal? Paixão!? Ou desejo!? Ânsia da morte ou fome de viver?
Quem sabe?
Quem saberá?

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