Losing The Line Of Thought... And a Guitar!!








One more night out, knowing it'll be another day of work tomorrow, though I don' care about my rest. I don't care... I really don't!

One more night spent in the caffé, drinking, talkng, laughing, smoking, being what people call of bohemian... Being whatever it can be, but dong something to remind myself I am alive! I was happily happy *devilish giggle*. I went to a caffé I do love with a friend of mine and there were one of the guys of the caffé playing guitar and singing, with live music. It was splendid. I once wrote an entry on ths blog, while I was at their computer and I sddendly saw their guitar lid net to me.
People singing... Laughing... Drinking... Having fun... And I, suddendly, falling apart in a depressive state of soul... Amália sings in one of her musics "La Fiesta sono é commenciata I é já finita" (The party just begun and it's already over) and it fits me well. That's why I avoid parties, nights at discos or bars or anything like that. I do feel bored, in despair, sad... I miss the time I was able to be happy, I miss the time when despair was not a constant thing. I miss the time I wasn't in constant changing. I miss... I miss... I miss... Why do I miss so much? What do I miss so much? What am I longing for? What? Why? When? Despair, despair, despair... Changing... Lack of anything...
Is this the shitty poet or fadista's soul everyone's talks about? Well, then I wanna cut it out and let all this blood flows and feel nothing anymore... I wanna be away from here... I wanna leave... I wanna leave and never come back!

So, it's the time to go back on Turtles and on Paulinho's caffé and let Turtles pick the guitar, to play and sing. Man, pick up the guitar and play for my delight!

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