Envy - Is That What You Fucking Want?

I don't understand those people which buy something and immediatelly want to show off what they have bought. They want to do an exhibition of what they have, like they was wanting to show the others they're better than they really are. Wake up; you aren't worth for what you have, but for what you are and for what you do as a person.
Envy - is that what you want that I feel?! Of course I feel Envy... I'm human, anyway, but my envy is the fact that you have a job, while I'm still looking for it; but what you have, doesn't makes you any better than me. I am wide stronger and open-minded than you are, I reach some levels of consciousness, that you have never been able too. Anyway, I'm not better than you and I don't wish to make you feel Envy for my works, my paintings, my writings, my poems, etc.. I want to feel proud of my own art, of my own life, so I don't envy the others' life or possessions...

The moon is shinning out there, and I'm playing Playstation with some friends... I wanna go outside, dancing in the moon light, smell flowers, talk to trees or to my own, listen the heartbeat of the Earth... Feeling the souls of the departed ones following me, protecting me... How many times I wandered around, trying to find something to please me, out of my art, and I ended my night drunk or highed?! I feel things in a different way than I feel when I'm sobber, but I do prefer walk the streets sobber... Maybe one day, my soul walks this empty streets...

Probably, thousands of people are making love, others fighting each others... Some of them must be sleeping, or preparing for the next day's murder(maybe mine!)... Others are going in the highway, in their cars, listening to this, or that romantic music... A thousand of chances, and I'm here, writing and playing Playstation, when it's my turn... I don't envy the others lives; I never try to imagine how could my life be if my family was another, if I have gotten any other kind of education, or religious identity...

Night is going on and I'm leaving home!!!

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