I'm tired of serving as an experiment

Message me.
I see the difference between us. You're young, full of testosterone, straight. I'm eleven years older, full of experience, gay.
You tell me you are curious. I am tired of giving experiences to guys like you. I've been there too many times, done that too many times and now I am tired of that. 
My response showed you my lack of interest right from the beginning. Quite possibly, you've gone through other profiles and found someone to delight you with a warm mouth. It's not my business. 

I have been putting myself aside many things lately. Like I've already mentioned, I've been there and done that and I am no longer willing to do it again. Not now.
I'm tired of way too many things. And yet, I'm not surprised with what happens. The more time passes by, the less surprised I am. The more time passes by, the less willing and receptive I am to people, their desires, their curiosity. 
Don't get me wrong. It's all cool. I won't be judging you, but I won't be encouraging you either. I will simply sit in the shadows while working my own stuff, seeing y'all chasing your dreams and desires and killing your curiosity (or being the cat that died of it).

I am really sick of all that. 
Believe me, men, I could give y'all the time of your life, I'm just not willing to any more. Not now. Possibly, not again, unless you're of my interest. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Loucura - há algumas horas atrás

Às vezes, poderia ter cinquenta blogs, com identidade desconhecida, com identidade patente. Poderia passar por cinquenta espaços diferentes e, ainda assim, não conseguir escrever sobre o que quero. Ainda assim, ser incapaz de escrever as palavras que me assombram, de dizer a verdade que tem de ser dita. Há umas horas atrás, iniciou-se uma certa mudança em mim. Nessas mesmas horas, apoderei-me de outro nome, outra vertente de uma outra existência. Se as coisas, por vezes, não fazem sentido, que se foda! Interessa que faça sentido para mim, que eu saiba o que digo, ao que me refiro. Interessa que, o que sinto, transpareça, sem muito compromisso. Há umas horas atrás, a noite fria presenciou algo, por esquinas, por becos escuros e húmidos, a cheirar a urina, que não imaginei alguma vez que fosse. Há horas atrás, morreram algumas certezas. Há algumas horas atrás...
Read more

The Blessing and the Curse of Technology

Technology is a blessing. And a curse. I am typing this message inside a very full bus. Few seats and not that much space for people doing this long hour trip on their feet. I am deactivating the cell phone's browser and Google Chrome, as I am sticking with Brave and have been for a while. And this process has been kinda painful: Google Chrome is the most used web browser and as most cell phones are part of Android universe, it's more than natural. However, it hands me a little too many ads and trying to read anything is almost certain that I'll end up hitting a surprise pop up ad. My cell phone is a Redmi, which gives me Mi Browser as a default. And although Mi browser blocks some commercials, it still allows pop ups; trying to see something on YouTube still gives me ads, despite the ad block. And although I'd like to use the easiness of Chrome or being faithful to Mi Browser, Brave wins. Wins because you block ads, because it blocks cookies without having websites ask...
Read more

The Idan Raichel Project com Ana Moura: "Sabe Deus"

Image
Directamente de Israel, chega-nos esta música, com a participação da sempre linda Ana Moura. Não poderia deixar de sentir o orgulho e a honra de tudo isto, de toda esta música, que me tocou a alma desde o momento da descoberta. Viaja a minha alma por terras de Além. E pela terras de Além (aonde, minha gente, mora a minha alma?), a minha alma sofre por estes cantos, a minha alma sofre por estes sentimentos. E sem bem saber como, a minha alma procura um jeito de desvincular-se de tanta coisa... Hoje, talvez seja a noite. Ou a manhã. E daí, talvez não... Tenho ponderado no encerramento dos meus blogs. Coisas temporárias, porque quero corrigir erros ortográficos, erros gramaticais... e escrever, entretanto, sem que isso implique que seja por aqui. Hoje, talvez seja a noite. Ou a manhã. Ou talvez não.
Read more