I want...




I wanna know what to write down, right now!! I have had a little idea of what I wanted to write, bt now I just got a stupid block...


Anyways, last night, I took the time to arrive early at home! I just gone to watch a bit of TV, while I thought about writing down some things (I don't type most of my writings, I hand write them first) and it started some kind of dark opera there, called "Repo!". It reminded me old dark times, my goth times. I friend of mine kept saying she wants to be a goth again. We never really stop being goths, if we're goths from our deepest within! It's something that's part of our roots, part of our deepest side! We need to have something waking it up, from times to times! I am no longer wearing full goth clothes, I keep using some colourful clothes, I use some large pants and my aunt said she prefers to see me in some jeans, instead looking like a ballon, as she said! Well, I want to look like this balloon, as I am way too skinny!


I keep dreaming of other times! I keep dreaming of you! You, the dude I have loved! The only one I have ever loved! And the one who seems to be sacring me of death, nowadays! I see dark BMW's like yours one, with dark glasses passing by! For two times, at least, a car like that stop and start going back, as I passed! I wasn't sure if it were you, but now I have had the care to check some details that might save me from the wrong judge! I keep dreaming that most of the shits in my life hasn't really happened! Others, I dream you know all the truth about me again and u want me the way I really am... Dreams!! It's just dreams!!


Unfortunatelly, my time here is running dry. People kept stealing my precious time with their chats! Only one or two, like Erin or Vartan Screamo (Soraia) were worthwhile to talk to! The other of them, will make me "climb" the hills of this shitty city and I am going to smoke a strong joint!! I need that to keep my mind foccused on anything, but the crap around me...


I need to find other ways to "entertain" myself... Maybe a man, if I fight and gain the battle with my own mind!


Maybe anything... MAybe nothing will ever entertain me ever again... Who knows?


I don't! And I don't really care, anymore!!

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