Perhaps I Am Lost...

Tonight it has been a good night for me. Still no internet, unable of using my computer and being oblied to come to the cyber caffé and paying €2 for one hour in the internet and being unable to see what I wish (right it was porn, till a guy come and sit right next to me and look at the screen... Gay porn and I am feeling a bit bothered).

I wish I could be at home, enjoying some gay porn, with BIG MUSCULAR skinheads fucking some boys skinny asses. I wish I could be laid in my bed, enjoying this decadence of the human nature of gay guys. I wish I could have one of those HUGE MUSCULAR men over me... I wish ne of them was using my hard and even harder each breathe I could take.

Anyway, some thing bad, can also bring something good. Something gooooood for me are the guys who were playing snooker in front of me, with those summer clothes, which leave me see their arms, imagine their back. My imagination in front of hot men is getting each passing day more dirty. My imagination is working each day better, though I can't work i my creative side. My imagination gave a perfect "movie" of me, laid naked over the snooker table and all those guys fucking me... Perhaps, I'm being a bit pervert, but I am human. I have wishses and right now, my wish is to be fucked hard, by a man or by men... Young men and if they're muscular, way better.

Though I am bisexual and I feel myself like being bisexual, I just can't imagine my life with no men. I love men... I worship men... I need men to feel alive sexually. Maybe that's a sign that in the end, I am gay, but what the hell is so wrong with that?? What the hell is so wrong of wishing to be fucked? What's so wrong of wishing a hug between males, instead huging a female or being huged by a female??

I am just human... I am just a guy needing to calm down and relax, before something bad goes on me... I need to try to relax and stop having my mind workng 1000 km/h all the time, eventhough when I'm sleeping...

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