Back and about to Rock...

This is it... Maybe things are about to come back to their place. I've seen/read somewhere that there's a right time and space for everything to happen and it was the time to return. I started painting again, after a big break on that due to my depression and to my medicines. It seems that when I was taking my medicines to fight depression, I couldn't paint, I couldn't write... Just singing, because singing didn't request my soul to do that. It doesn't mean I don't put my soul in my singing, it just happened that my feelings wasn't all the entire base for me to sing.

When I paint, I used to paint what I was feeling. Now, on my return, I'm focused on human (feminine) bodies and faces. I always did, I expressed my feelings through others expressions, and now it's my stronger phase. I am wishing to finish my studies, I am wishing to do my art and be able to become part of the infinity. I want people to remind me, when I die. I don't want to be forgotten when I disappear. I am trying to write some poems in English, I want to try to publish them in USA, in any kind of magazine or newspaper and maybe try to put all them together and publish a book. Poetry s not that important, but I am trying to do something... I have also had some ideas for my fictions and to get my old fictions back, those I wrote in teen-aging. I want to show my work away... I hope to leave a legacy behind, when I die, when I turn ashes, or a bit of crap under a grave...

Anyway, I've been painting, I've been writing, I kept living my life in cafes , I kept hanging with people, I kept living the streets as I adore... But there's something missing: that special someone I can grab and he'll hug me. That special someone who will open the arms and hold me in my fears... I wanna love, I wanna know that feeling with no fears, no regrets, no sorrow... I wanna be able to let myself go when someone comes close to me and says: "I love you" and I wanna be able to say: "I love you too", without any fear...

I wanna be free and I wanna love... Is that possible, both at the same time??

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