Missing



I'm back home... Despite my mother and my aunt are here in the livng room, I still feel alone... I see them like shadows... I feel them like ghosts in the same place than I am now... I am with one music from Karunesh playing on youtube, which is named of gothic and it has some arabic sounds, but it's a new age kinda music, but such a relaxing one. I feel like the music is invading every kind of flesh, every vein, every muscle and I wish to move my body through the night... There's something missing in me since I am born, but I've never found out what. These kinda songs, makes me wanna dance with it's rythm, dance with the moonlight entering through the fragil glass of the window, make me wish to take all my clothes off and dnce with the wind... I feel the city calling for me and I wish I could reply to it's appeal, but it's completely impossible now... My body is too tired to do any of these things. I wanna go to my bed and lay down on it, for the very first time for a long, long time. My room was messed up, all kinda of shits around the ground and over my bed, I've been sleeping in the couch... Tonight, I'll lay down in my bed... I am a bit curious of how will it sound... Will you, my ghosts, come to haunt me tonight? Will my latest desire of having someone for me haunt my mind and tun into a night mare? How will it feel to lay down in that empty bed tonight?

I wish I could pay to see before going ahead, but I can't... At the same time, I'm anxious to try it, to feel that comfortable bed, to feel my body alone there, relaxing in every breath, relaxing in any second passing by... I think so much of Elizabeth, my greek friend, my greek goddess lately, I imagine what is she doing now, what is she feeling, what is thinking... Is she sleeping? Is she writing as a mad, once again? Is she talking to someone flowers in any garden in Athens?

The bight out there and my bed in here are calling and it's a crazy feeling... It's like being a balloon... In one hand, I'm rising in the air, with the sky, with freedom so close, byt in the other hand, I am being pulled by a tiny rope in a child's hand... Tonight, I'll taste my bed... Karunesh will play one last time, I'll will dance in my inner world, as the sexy female dancer in the kingdom and as the king in the throne... I will be the man who lays down in the King's bed, naked, feeling the satin, and the king laid over him, possessing him... I will be so many things tonight and maybe, I'll be nothing!!

The night is calling me... The sleep is taking me away... The silver star light shinning and the moon brlliant path are there, if anything goes wrong...

Goodnight

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