Missing



I'm back home... Despite my mother and my aunt are here in the livng room, I still feel alone... I see them like shadows... I feel them like ghosts in the same place than I am now... I am with one music from Karunesh playing on youtube, which is named of gothic and it has some arabic sounds, but it's a new age kinda music, but such a relaxing one. I feel like the music is invading every kind of flesh, every vein, every muscle and I wish to move my body through the night... There's something missing in me since I am born, but I've never found out what. These kinda songs, makes me wanna dance with it's rythm, dance with the moonlight entering through the fragil glass of the window, make me wish to take all my clothes off and dnce with the wind... I feel the city calling for me and I wish I could reply to it's appeal, but it's completely impossible now... My body is too tired to do any of these things. I wanna go to my bed and lay down on it, for the very first time for a long, long time. My room was messed up, all kinda of shits around the ground and over my bed, I've been sleeping in the couch... Tonight, I'll lay down in my bed... I am a bit curious of how will it sound... Will you, my ghosts, come to haunt me tonight? Will my latest desire of having someone for me haunt my mind and tun into a night mare? How will it feel to lay down in that empty bed tonight?

I wish I could pay to see before going ahead, but I can't... At the same time, I'm anxious to try it, to feel that comfortable bed, to feel my body alone there, relaxing in every breath, relaxing in any second passing by... I think so much of Elizabeth, my greek friend, my greek goddess lately, I imagine what is she doing now, what is she feeling, what is thinking... Is she sleeping? Is she writing as a mad, once again? Is she talking to someone flowers in any garden in Athens?

The bight out there and my bed in here are calling and it's a crazy feeling... It's like being a balloon... In one hand, I'm rising in the air, with the sky, with freedom so close, byt in the other hand, I am being pulled by a tiny rope in a child's hand... Tonight, I'll taste my bed... Karunesh will play one last time, I'll will dance in my inner world, as the sexy female dancer in the kingdom and as the king in the throne... I will be the man who lays down in the King's bed, naked, feeling the satin, and the king laid over him, possessing him... I will be so many things tonight and maybe, I'll be nothing!!

The night is calling me... The sleep is taking me away... The silver star light shinning and the moon brlliant path are there, if anything goes wrong...

Goodnight

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Easter time: cleaning and rebirth time

Image
  This is Easter time. This is the time of rebirth like Christ Himself, the time to rise from my own ashes, like the Phoenix. And having written this, I am thinking about social media and the amount of accounts that I follow uselessly. Twitter is in worse conditions: I have followed almost 2000 accounts recently. Mostly linked to gay porn, accounts that share gay clips and certain men who share semi-nudes, teasing their viewers to buy a subscription for their OnlyFans accounts. It's useless and I followed most of them because the images were pleasant. I have even thought about getting myself an alt account, so that I could follow certain accounts freely. It happenes that my Twitter account is 11 years old, I have a massive number of people who have blocked me, including politicians and political parties in my country and I'll honestly stick to those honor badges. I'll unfollow the vast majority of people and accounts that I came to follow and stick to those whom I've re
Read more

The Blessing and the Curse of Technology

Technology is a blessing. And a curse. I am typing this message inside a very full bus. Few seats and not that much space for people doing this long hour trip on their feet. I am deactivating the cell phone's browser and Google Chrome, as I am sticking with Brave and have been for a while. And this process has been kinda painful: Google Chrome is the most used web browser and as most cell phones are part of Android universe, it's more than natural. However, it hands me a little too many ads and trying to read anything is almost certain that I'll end up hitting a surprise pop up ad. My cell phone is a Redmi, which gives me Mi Browser as a default. And although Mi browser blocks some commercials, it still allows pop ups; trying to see something on YouTube still gives me ads, despite the ad block. And although I'd like to use the easiness of Chrome or being faithful to Mi Browser, Brave wins. Wins because you block ads, because it blocks cookies without having websites ask
Read more

Nightwish welcomes Floor Jansen as a permanent vocalist

Image
I was seing my G+ news feed, when I got stuck on a new that I was alreay expecting: Floor Jansen has been introduced as the permanent vocalist of Nightwish. I got the new in the webpage of Nuclearblast. Here's the link to the new:  http://www.nuclearblast.de/en/label/music/news/details/3174952.nightwish-announce-two-new-band-members.html I am leaving all the details for the experts!! This post, served the single and only purpose to congrat Floor Jansen fpr such position. You deserve it and your voice is amazing. I listen to you since the times of After Forever. Haven't had the same attention about ReVamp, due to life issues. But your voice is wonderful. I think it'll suit Nightwish's amazing works very well and you'll make it remarkable.
Read more