It hasn´t been the right mood to write!


 I was writing a small text, but all of a sudden i remembered one music and the text just disappeared. I wanted it to disappear, as it wasn´t coming quite like I´d liked it to. I have to say that going to look for one song by Tarja Turunen is worth anything.

It isn´t a matter of indpiration: the mood hasn´t been properly right to sit down and write, although I have some ideas that I should, at least, sketch down. My desire to keep this blog up and running has been diminishing every passing day. I thought that I should just delete or deactivate this blog; I could also just work on the scheme and hide all the posts and just keeping the last one visible with somewhat of a farewell text or even a "see you later". I haven´t done any of them.

I´ve been watching some documentaries on Youtube and the subjects of my "study" have been wide and varied: I started with the rise of nationalism in Europe in the latest years, then moved onto the Ancient Egypt and, lately, I have been watching videos about World War II. I have been saving some of those videos in a private playlist, in order to split them into many playlists of different documentaries inside the same topic. Something that I thought about, was starting to post them in this blog, in order to not just killing it or leaving it abandoned, as countless other websites and blogs throughout the world wide web. I also thought that I could do somewhat of a fangirling over Nuke´s Top5 YouTube channel - Nuke´s Top 5 is a guy that makes compilations of videos, mostly about the supernatural, that leaves it up for you to decide if what you´re seeing is a proper supernatural action or if "it is all an ellaborate hoax"! I love this kind of stuff and all the other channels I came across with the same topics are all cheap copies of Nuke´s. With the amount of views that Nuke´s has on his channel, he definitelly doesn´t needs the help of an insignificant blog like mine, but just like I have said, it is a way to keep my blog up, without killing it or without leaving it abandoned.

The mood to write hasn´t properly been the best. 2019 was shit - don´t even start with 2020, it´s been a soft breeze to me, compared to 2019 - and 2020 hasn´t been the typical year. Here we are, in 2021, in a new lockdown in Portugal, amidst the Covid-19 pandemic, I finally have a somewhat decent decent computer in my hands and I really don´t want to attempt to write any other blog entries on a mobile. And yet, I am not in the mood to write, not in the mood to force myself to write - because I am already sat down a lot, watching those stuffs on YouTube or playing the "Pharaoh" strategy game. 

I need to force myself to write or sketch my ideas. I need to take a decision on what to do with this blog and with my life in general, besides going to school at night - not even that right now! This might mark a change. Or maybe not. Right now, I´ll turn off the lights and sit comfortably watching Dragon Ball.

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