Estranho (pres)sentimento

Atrás de um dia, vem logo outro.
O tempo não pára.
A vida não espera por ninguém.
Leio o jornal, com interesse e vontade. Fumo um cigarro. Bebo um café. Conversa alegre e animada, e resta-me o interesse curioso (ou curioso interesse?) Do que li.
Amanhã é incerto. Não sabemos se chegará. Aproveita hoje e agora - lembra-te que tudo é incerto, até mesmo a duração do nosso tempo de vida; entâo, por que não pensar no amanhã? Faz algum sentido? Ou nem por isso?
A tarde chega ao fim. E dentro de mim, existe treva. Treva em dia de sol e de calor. Treva. Dentro de mim, existe um sentimento estranho - por que é que me sinto, de tempos a tempos, observado de longe?
Quero distância e quero segurança. Tenho que procurar um rumo e um sentido. Tenho que sentir. Sentir de longe e criar, criar, criar. Criar para não enlouquecer, nem me envolver. O mundo é demasiado cruel.
Hajam dias de sol, haja névoa, mas que haja mar. Mar imenso. Atlântico. Que haja onde chorar as minhas maiores agonias, onde matar as minhas mais belas criações.

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