Angel Alucard

Slowly, some stuffs are being improved! pictures taken to please myself, to expose mysel here and there (I am being careful enough to hide my face in too public "spots"). I finally typed all my poems, so i can start handwriting a few more ones. I can also re-start typing some old stories and start typing new ideas. It doesn't really means that I am going to type three or four stories at the same time, just that i can put some ideas down finally, as i managed to finish what i have proposed myself to! There are things in life that made you wonder... Looking back to the past and to the copy of a friend's blog, I see now how similar we are in some points. I have a few friends / acquaintances that people think they are gay. Some I wouldn't mind to find out. Others, the idea disgusts me. I am improving things... I am improving myself... I need more... more...

we're burning under a heat of 37ºC. After what seemed something like a very distant Summer, it has finally arrived here, although I have seen in the newspaper that we're having only 30ºC tomorrow. I am not complaining about this heat: I really enjoy it and I really enjoy the idea that I could be spending whole days (or mornings or afternoons, if I had money to do that) in the beach.  In the last few days, I have been delivering some curriculums, so I am hoping to get that damned phone call soon. I am hoping for a job interview. I am unemployed for almost for years. I can not stand this daily routine of eating, drinking, pissing shitting, smoking joints and sleeping anymore. It is way too comparable to be locked in a blank room, with pillowed walls. Ît is also half way to that! It is also half way to gunshot or jump off my window in the 5th floor and that's what I am not wanting to do. I am planning: so many books to read, so many books to improve myself as an arts' ...

That's what it feels like! I am crazy and no one can deny it... why would they? It is noticiable in me, in my behaviour, the way I laugh or act! I am crazy and I am proud of myself the way I am! No one has been able to put me down... I think that I have put some people down... Somehow, it felt like pulling the trigger! Somehow, I am more than happy that I have kept in the actiopn, what I have spoken out as an idea for the lack of future between me and a certain person! You have chosen this and this will be... I have no amnesia, neither the desire to get back! I am desiring way too many things, but I am still stopping jmyself of achieving them or fighting for them! I am simply let myself go this way, as if there were no time... so as if it wasn't worhty... I am needing so much... so much more... No time... no time...