Angel Alucard

Just been with a girl friend of mine. It's been a while since we've had a coffee, but this quickie served well! The boy, working his body, was there, half naked. Too bad he wasn't naked in my bed! People are around there, people keep living, doing and saying things, they keep behaving, putting me aside with stuffs/words/actions. I still think that it would be the best for me to walk away, but then again, I am addicted in that café! My girl friend also saw Logan McCree in my blog and I have showed her some pictures of him, on google. She got amazed! I am amazed and addicted in that men since I first saw him! Well, I think that with that man, I would start considering to turn a monogamic creature!! :P Eheh, days pass by, I keep fantasizing, living and dreaming! In the end, that'll be my escape from the bad things, as it has always been!!

the last few days. Then again, it has been Christmas, and between holiday, getting high and drunk with friends, thinking and analyising the situation of my life (including a job I got and that I am thinking on refusing, as I won't get paid if I do not get contracts for TV, home phone and Internet services, as most people arte struggling with bills to pay and if they don't have those services already, they're not wishing to get them), I have been busy doing nothing. Dead men do not walk, but some of the people that you start to wonder if they're dead or not, seem to enjoy showing up. You throw at their faces how shitty their actions are, they accept them, but never without a fight, then they start hanging around with you like if nothing has happened! Drunk people shouldn't be condemned by their words or their actions, if they haven't killed anyone. But when they're drunk, their actions speak louder than when they're sobber: nthere's no lies beneat...

And praying that I do not get "unused" to this! Used to play this a while ago, but then lost my internet connection. My village's been conquered! Decided to try again, in the hope to be able to visit it at least ojne time a day, with my mobile (or a new mobile, if it applies!)! Decieed to try Grepolis either, but still too confusing for me, so I think I'll have to leave Grepolis for later on! Playing tribalwars... Well, thought about coming to the internet, to recreate my account on tribalwars. €1 for a game: cool! Used to enjoy playing it,m although it can be such a boring game, as it's all strategy, with no action to see, as Age Of Empires. Anyways... this might be s tupid topic. I am not caring anymore: I simply want to have fun and enjoy the world and life. All the rest is crap!

And allowing the rain to fall over me! Allowing myself to try a rain's bath! Allowing the sadness to be clean: it's a dirty sadness, due to the murdered buddy! Short entry! Not much to say! And maybe there are quite a lot to say... i simply can not find the words!

...é que venho aos indianos, para gastar mais €0,50, escrever o que antes não escrevi. Escrever, porque antes não escrevi! Só mesmo por ti é que tenho destes pensamentos e só mesmo por ti é que vivo perdido destes pensamentos! Tenho muitas ganas de gritar o teu nome ao vento, olhar para ti no café e dizer que te amo, mas para quê?? Seja como for, certas aproximações da tua parte, ainda que involuntárias, deixam-me na esperança de que, já que não tenho o teu amor, ainda te salto em cima. Ainda tenho a esperança de que me montarás bem montado, de que, pelo menos, a nível sexual, irei satisfazer a minha necessidade de ti! Sonho ou fantasia?? Talvez, mas não custa nada! ;)

I am taking the time to stop by and smell the flowers. I am taking the time to walk in the Wintry gardens, with dead leaves everywhere. i am taking the time to walk under the rain, with my umbrella open, listening to the rain falling over it. I am taking the time to tweet to some pornographivc actors that I didn't even knew or seen, if I did, I haven't noticed them (Logan Mc Cree is my big man!). I am taking the time to enjoy some stuffs and am taking the time to try to forgive some atitudes from people. I am taking the time relax and not punch this fucking tranny sitted by my side, speaking creole and not shutting the fuck up, while I am trying to type. The THING keeps turning the chair, hitting mine, unfoccusing me from what I am wanting to type. From times to times, she/he/it/what-fucking-ever looks at me, as I do type quite fastg and the noisy keyboard stops her/him/it/what-fucking-ever to listen to what the dude/tranny/girl/thing/whoever's in the other side (I saw a HU...

Listening to this song, I do imgine myself awaiting for my love, sitted inside the house in the beach. The door wouldn't be shut, but it wouldn't be open either... Some kind of black curtains would be dancing with the wind. The fog outside would almost cover the view of the sea. The sea would be singing for the one who has been gone in itself. ~The smoke of my cigarette would be raising to the ceiling. I think on how amazing it would be to live near the sea. The world wouldn't matters anymore. No one would ever be important anymore. I would be one with the sea and the sand and the fog and the sun and the night. I do imagine the steps in the ground.... And then, just silence... One more cigarette and nothing else, anymore...

I am wanting to create a blog. A central blog, where I can put all the same work that I have been putting here, since I have created these blogs! I went to sleep thinking about this and then I got up thinking about it! I do have three blogs and perhaps it would be for the very best to get a neew one, since I don't know any way to make a fusion between at least two of my blogs! If I could do that, I'll gladly would... This way, I am thinking on getting a fourth blog, to where I'll be "moving to". These ones will be here, but I might be moving ahead, as three blogs can be a truly harsh work to stand! I am pretty proud of what I've been doing here, since I was barely a teen. Anyways, if that ever happehns, I might stay around blogspot. If not, I would be around wordpress or anything similar. I am thinking, for a while now, about getting an account on tumblr. ^But that won't be for now... Maybe if I get an android mobilke for Christmas! Eheheh!! Anyway...

...é da moca, caralho! Ahahah!! És sempre tu, dessa maneira desajeitada, quem sente as núvens negras! Até posso ter a cabeça toda queimada: já vão três ganzas e dois shots de Tequila, às seis e meia da tarde!, mas eis que dizes uma coisa dessas!

Aparecem alguns de repente! Outros aparecem de um outro jeito! Um vem ao lugar onde costumava encontrar as pessoas! A outra aparece em fotos de páginas de eventos! Pois... que conversa ele espera? ela saberá que eu vejo essas imagens? ele terá noção de que as coisas dificilmente serão como eram da primeira vez! ela saberá que, de algum modo, chegar-me-ão notícias dela, mas não se preocupa com isso o suficiente, para se lembrar sequer de mim! Pois... Que querem que eu diga?

  Here's something quite awesome! Here's something to bring tears to my eyes! Vinícius de Moraes singing at Amália Rodrigues' house! One poem that he has writen for her to sing! The poet gives a quite gloomy sound to the song! But the poet knows what he's doing! The poet knows the dance of the voice; the poet knows who he's singing to!   Amália, in her living room, listens to him and absorbs the feeling! Amália Rodrigues, in all her entire magnificence, absorbs what she got to feel, the way she has to sing the song!   Amália says: now I am going to try!   Jusat imagine it like at 3 a.m., smoke of cigarettes in the air, lots of people around the sofas. Papers everywhere, with poems, with sketches of poems, ways to turn them into a song! Just imagine how would you feel inside that room!   Ditature! State police! No freedom to speak out loud whatever you wanted to (and we're losing this nowadays)!     I feel just this amaze...

I think that things aren't that shocking! I am not any hottie! I am not a hunk! I am not a "butterfly" or  "little flower"! Almost kidding (almost serious!), I have said that I am an homophobic faggot! I care not on being gay, I do love being gay, I do love men, but I couldn't stnd other gy dudes around me: I tend to shoo them away! I have been introduced to a few gay dudes in my life, but I mostly prefered to stand alone, than to have them around, especially if they have the "broken wrist" on! I have found a profile of a very sexy dude, with all his muscles on, with a body filled with tattoos! The text of the profile was a very nice one, someone who could defend all those who would like to shock and shake the world! Sexy dude, openly gay: shocking?... It has been for me, I have to say! I have learned that, although I am openly gay to friends, it's for the best to keep shut and quiet about your sexuality: the place I live at is a very hars...

  about how I miss it! About I am needing to see the sea, to feel the sea, to kiss the sea! About how much time I would need, how much hashish I would need to feel healed: the next time this hits me this way, I might not allow myself to calm down to tell the tale!   I am thinking about the sea: I need to walk in the beach, to sing, to run, to laugh, to cry, to roll in the sand. I need to let these shadows to get out of me! I need to surpass the spirit itself! My soul is not in peace! My body is not in peace! Days keep passing by and the most I laugh, the sadest I feel: I feel sad, day by day, just because I can't laugh with a real feeling of happiness! What I get is never enough and I can n't let go of such feelings! My soul feels like bleeding, but no one's seing the blood dripping outta me! No one's seing the wounds!   I am thinking on how wonderful it would be to be listening to the sea singing to me. By my side, a lover, about to hug or fuck me ...

...that some things go as I want them to! At least this time, I do hope that I can change anything in my life, by getting anything I want! I am praying for Christmas week: I am not praying for the money or for the mobile I secretely want, I am wishing that dude which is coming to Portugal for the season. We have a pending conversation for a while now, I am suffering before the time as come and I have already ordered a little bit of hashish to a friend of mine: I don't want to get highed before going to talk with that dude, I want to get highed after the conversations, as I know it'll help me to relax and I know I will need it! Wishing that at least this time, things can go as planned: but life never allows things to go as we plan them. At least, not at 100%, so I need to count on any kind on disapointment: I don't care! My plans aren't unperfect, I do not plan them at the minimal move, but I do wish some things... As well as I wish I could improve my Facebook or Twi...