Thinking of Her



I have been reading old texts. Old photocopies I have been sent along times with the letters. Old letters I have gotten and haven't got rid off. Old eroticas that she sent me. The first lines of her blog I have read, before I have gotten any internet access, even in school (long time ago). But I notice that are missing some stuffs. One of her original eroticas. Another copy of her blog I had. I have been cleaning my room, cleaning the mess and I can not find those texts.

I have been trying old feelings! Took those feelings from old words! Took those feelings from old letters, from old magazines, from old images. I still have all of her letters, I still have almost everything she sent me, except what I previously mentioned!

I have been thinking... and I keep thinking!! In one of her old texts, she said that when the urge hits her, she used to take the mp3 and go out for a walk late in the night. At the time, it was extremely weird for me to think of her going out at 3 or 4 a.m. with an mp3, because I was such a "pretty-good-boy", I could not imagine myself in such situation, how I imagine her going out?? Now I wonder: does she still feels the urge? Does she still goes out in the middle of the night, listening to her favorite songs? Does she still dances/sings, if the mood and the song are the right ones?

I have been thinking of writing her a letter, but what can I tell her that's different, from 5 or 4 years ago, when we used to write letters to each other? At this moment, I am not taking any advantage of any of her awesome advises, I am not doing a single thing... Let's see if I can change the things... Just let me see!!

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