Losing My Mind

Sometimes, I still wonder why do I care. Sometimes, I still try to fix things out, but this has been long empty times, with no blogging. Late at night, at a friend's house, I'm here, in front of a damned computer with a fuckin' connection to the internet, after a few months without being able to blog about what I really fuckin' care.

I am lost, I could say, but am I really lost? I find myself laughing, smiling, having long shitty conversations with friends in the cafe, reading shitty magazines about celebrities (?)... I even bought a gay magazine today, to read, to see naked man, but there were no naked men at all.

I know the at least two friends of mine will be travelling to Scotland in September and as I hope to get a job soon (shouldn't I have got it months ago, if I wasn't too lazy to look for?), I hope to get my passport and an airplane ticket to USA, to to LA. I imagine me and E. in the beach, with lots of hot man hanging around, and we pretty gorgeous laid in the sun, with lots of sun protector (factor 50+) and ice cream and lots of men to fuck with, to have lotsa fun, to use, to abuse... I know all that from dreams... And they're too far, as I can't help myself.

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