Angel Alucard

I am still at my grand dad's old village. Well, in one neighboor village, about 1 km away from there, but I am here, writing, enjoying a few minutes in a cultural association. with free internet. I have to return to Cacém to pay my bills, to pay my late laptop bills, to pay the internet bill, that's why I have been shut off from my internet account! I am enjoying a few minutes of peace here, in this tiny room, listening to Mariza, with a song called "Minh'alma" (My Soul) and she can please me! It fits me well!! All I know right now, is that I need to return home, to get a job and pay my bills, face the life, face the world and follow my dreams. This year, I have had a "waking-up-day", a will to weep and tear the world with all of my inner soul! I need to go, to move on!! When I get my internet back, I will write more and better on this sde of my blogs, the Universal one! See you soon... I hope!!

In the last few days, I have felt so lost, so confused with a strange feeling deep within my soul. I feel like some kind of an end was coming and it's driving me crazy, because can not say if it is a good end or a bad end. So many things have changed, like I mentioned in a previous posting, some things in a good way, others in not so good way, but things changed. I changed, I started liking me a bit more, looking at the mirror and liking what what I was seing. But now, it's a strange feeling of being in a theater play and I feel like the courtains were going to close forever, with no more openings. And this is driving me crazy! I know, I am repeating myself, but I feel strange and I feel that those things are going to happen really soon! Tomorrow! Tomorrow I am going to my grand dad's house, to see him for a few days and I feel happy with the idea. I am anxious for the trip. A trip of three hours in a train and the idea of not smoking during all those three hours is just f...

Here's one music that might please my dear and beloved E.. She like this band, Madredeus! And it has the subtitles in English, so people can understand what is said by the singer of my country! It's my birthday today and my diary has somethings settled in it with my moanings... I am not in the right mood of moaning on that for the third time... Just the music that I love. My birthday was always a torture... As a kid, I used to hide under the table and yell when people used to sing me happy birthday... I don't even want to remeber... I will live my day like a normal day, try to forget that it's the damned birthday of mine...