Angel Alucard

My life is falling apart once again: I have no job, I left school (I haven't even told my mother yet!), my bank account has been shut down and the bank demands €50 from me, that I don't have. But everything's fine! Everything's just fine! In a few days, I'll do some regular blood tests and get my second dose of the COVID-19 vaccine (I think I should've written about those terrible days of the pandemic, when I spent days inside with my mother and our cats, watching opera soaps) and, perhaps, I'll be heading to the North once again, as I do once a year. I should, then again, perhaps head north more often, if I had a driving license and a car. Perhaps, I would be living in the countryside for a long time, if I had taken that damned driver's license and bought a car. Instead, I'm here stuck in a city, that I grew in and that I completely dislike, with my life falling apartn and not moving a freaking muscle to change it. Guilty, guilty, guilty! I whip my...

Não me interessa o amor, quebrar o que chamam de solidão. Não me interessa largar as rédeas do sentimento e deixar que as coisas se descontrolem, como um incêndio no mato. olho para trás e penso em tudo quanto passei, sempre sozinho. Ninguém se propôs a navegar nessas ondas de mágoa e desespero ao meu lado, como podem esperar que aceite que naveguem o meu navio na calmaria? Recordo das poucas vezes em que tentei, quando nunca fui suficiente, nem fui sequer alguém que escolhessem. E hoje, se estou aqui e sou quem sou, com todos os defeitos e as poucas qualidades se mantiveram, se saio de casa sozinho para beber café ou ir dar umas caminhadas, sem procurar saber se mais alguém vai a esse mesmo café, devo-o a todos esses momentos. Ou à sua falta. E hoje, se escolho ir a um café sozinho, escolhendo mesmo um sítio onde a probabilidade de encontrar caras conhecidas seja o mais reduzida possível, devo-o a quem me transformou naquilo que sou; devo-o a todos esses alguém, a todos quanto diziam ...

The madness keeps going. After deleting my social media and keeping Facebook only, I have decided to restore my Twitter account. I followed mostly gay porn accounts there, but i have decided to get my follow up list back, but following actors and musicians of whom I liked and whom I like. The madness will continue, as I will increase the numbers: actors, musicians, politicians, porn actors and wannabes. I just cannot stress this enough:  I am mad, bat shit crazy and the tendence is to get worse with the age. I do not care. You shouldn't either. It's late in the night (or too early in the morning?) and here I am listening to pornographic music. This quite sums up my life lately: a lot of cigarettes and pornography. I gave up a few projects I have entered on and i haven´t moved much of my ass to anything else, especially since the EuroPass CV website now requires an account and they took 24 hours to validate my account, what made me lose all the changes that i have introduced to ...

 I have written about deleting my social media before. I have done it before, but i have always recovered my accounts. This won't be happening this time. I deleted instagram. WhatsApp is now gone. Although Twitter has been put to rest  and awaken  once and again, I really don't want to recover a ten years old account, with too much to tell, with lots of pornographic content to be shown. i recently got into Telegram and I think that such a messaging app is enough for me: i follow a meme channel, a few channels dedicated to European beauty and people and that's it. Telegram has the benefit to have a few pornographic channels either, but it's of no use to me, as I can use PornHub and Xvideos for such purpose. Social media is of no use, when you're seeing the same content three times: people post it to Instagram and it's posted on Facebook automatically. I don't feel like watching and reacting to the same content over and over, neither be to get ignored in two o...

 Quando a Sofia sugeriu a criação deste blog, pensou que eu escrevesse algo como os estados mais ou menos engraçados que tenho vindo a publicar no Facebook. Parece que, por fim, vou escrever coisas mais ou menos engraçadas: posso até partilhar isto no Facebook incansável e incessantemente, mas o Facebook não é o Twitter, onde partilho porno e tenho monólogos. Mas, como diz o outro rapazinho, "engraçado, engraçado, é acertar no buraco ao lado!"