Today when I was arriving from my job, after having a coffee with my mother, when we was in our building, a girl knocked the door and told us that our neighbour from the house over our house, died... It was her grand daughter.

Well, that lady was a friend of mine and about one month ago, she almost set fire at her house, trying to kill herself, so I wonder what happened... Have her killed herself? And those things always affect me more than I would like... Damn!! I know that Death will come for all of us, but it's hard to see people we love departing, without saying a simple goodbye... I am human and not a machine, the more I want to get stronger... Well, I really get stronger, but I stay as sensitive as I have always been...

I walked the streets alone and I found Shizuka(L.) at her store, and through her, I found out that one child of 9 years old died, as well. Then, I went through a café to meet my friend Sofia and Vinicios her boyfriend and Sofia told me that her grand mother died in the hospital... What the fuck of day was this? Was it the Worldwide day of Death and I didn't know about it?! I am numb... I try to find what means all this wave of emptiness in my soul... Amália Rodrigues saves me from suicide, but I am one steop closer from suicide and if I decide to go on, no one will ever be able to stop me... I am flying in a mist of emptiness and sadness, though they fullfill each other... And things aren't that easy!! I'll sink my mkind on my job and on my art, not to make something stupid!!

Statement: DEAD!!

I could say a lot fo things, but you'll never understand them, just because I am unreachable now. I am in a higher level, trying to figure out why do some kind of things happens down there... I am trying to find someone who can chat with through the internet, but it seems that men are all busy... TRoday, I want a man and nothing else matters...

Some Kind Of Madness

"I am falling into a new wave of depression". Shit, how many times have I said it before? I don't know and I can't even count them, cause I don't remember of all the times I said it. But it's the reality, but I'll stop moaning about this shit...

I am doing a plan of running away from home... I did it before, but I quit of that when I goit the money for that. Now, I am just trying to get a ride to Spain and from there, I'll run away somewhere eklse. Who knows, maybe I'll stay right in the country next door? *Jiggle* But if I get strenght and money enough to, I'll be gone from everything for a long, long time, so if you stop getting news from me, I'll be in Spain, Italy, England, Greece or somewhere else. Maybe I'll go to Switzerland next to my bitch, my slut, which left me here alone, or to Greece, just to find my friends in Thessaloniki, or in Athens, to see Elizabeth, even just for five minutes.

Fuck, time to go...